Monday, January 23, 2012

Mid-Season Check-up of the Team LA Store

You guys, have you seen what's new in the Kings section of the Team LA Store?

If you haven't visited the online store lately, then you are seriously missing out on some true gems. I have no doubt that we've recovered from holiday shopping sprees so it's time to blow our money on some hideous fan gear!

First of all, I'm truly disappointed that the store is no longer selling the Ladies Player T-Shirts. I even went to the Team LA Store at Staples Center on a random Friday during lunch and they only had the t-shirt in 2XL.....not cool. And now I can't even overpay for it online.

Instead, the Team LA Store is selling some gawd-awful shit like the "LA Kings Ladies Super Fan III Burnout T-shirt - Shield" for $41 (see below for photo). $41 for a cotton shirt! But you can actually save $7 if you buy the version with a crown on the back, Whew! $35 is so much more reasonable for a cotton shirt that I am pretty sure is of pretty shitty quality. Ask yourself this question: "Is a shield really worth $7 extra dollars?"  Or for that matter: "Will wearing the crown make you feel like a cheap ass because you couldn't fork over the extra $7 for the 'official' logo of this season?"

Don't worry male fans, the shitty overpriced fan gear isn't solely available to women. If you're a middle-aged man going through a mid-life crisis wondering if you should drop tens of thousands of dollars on a sports car that you'll look utterly ridiculous driving in the hopes of attracting a younger woman, then fear not! For the low, low price of $325, you could be the proud owner of a true LA Kings leather jacket:

images taken from the Team LA Store, although if I were them, I wouldn't want the credit.  what a hot mess.

Wear it in style, old man! That is pure luscious leather. Work it! And don't be fooled by the model; there is no way someone that young and vaguely attractive would be caught dead wearing that jacket so you don't need to worry about any competition from the younger crowd.  Also, is that female model Alyssa Milano?  I can't tell because she's totally irrelevant in my humble opinion, so I'm not entirely sure what she looks like, but I do know she's been designing fan clothing for women and some of it ain't too great.

The other problem I have with that shirt is I can't tell if it's see-through or if the graphic is just messed up, because you can clearly see the model's pants through the shirt.  And what is up with the 'burnout' design.  It's hideous?  Oh, and another thing: is the shirt really black/grey on the front and then white on the back?  It's like you're wearing two completely different shirts!  You know how on 'Project Runway' when the designers put together a separates outfit that looks terrible and the judges crucify them because they don't understand the outfit and the top and bottom just don't go together and it just doesn't make sense?  That's this shirt, except that instead of worrying about your top not matching what you're wearing on bottom, the back of your shirt doesn't belong with the front of your shirt whatsoever. This might as well have been a fucking crafts project you put together.  And it'll cost you $41!!!!!  What an effing ripoff.

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