Kings Fans Express Sweet Sentiments on Twitter

So the Kings totally shat the bed today against the Columbus Blue Jackets. I don't know what was more embarrassing:

• Making the Blue Jackets look really good
• Taking 7 penalties
• Going 0 for 8 on the power play
• Not scoring in regulation for the second consecutive game
• Giving Curtis Sanford a shutout
• Losing to the worst team in the league

I was trying so hard to not get upset throughout the entire game. It's too bad this was an afternoon game, because I probably would have played a drinking game (by myself) if this was a night game.

Drink every time one of these things happen:

• A penalty is called
• Kings don't score on the power play
• Sutter inappropriately touches a player on the bench
• Sutter makes bitter beer face
• Dustin Brown falls down
• Bob Miller sounds pissed about the way the Kings are playing
• Jim Fox tries to explain the Kings are playing marginally better under Sutter
• You laugh whenever you hear 'Clitsome'
• Jack Johnson rips a shot that either goes way wide or way high

Sheesh, I would have been dead by the 2nd period.

Let's see what some Kings fans thought about the game. I bet they were barely even paying attention since it was an afternoon game:

@kingscast Embarrassing "effort"

@LAKingsOutsider Somehow the #lakings lack of scoring now is still Terry Murray's fault right?

@islas66 The #lakings score less than a guy at a lesbian bar! Damn!!!!

@everydayreggie When you go 0 for 8 on the power play and get shut out at home by the worst team in hockey, it should count as two losses

@RyanResella The coach who is in charge of the #LAKings power play.. yeah they should do something about that

@Craiiiiiig21 Every #LaKings game is equivalent of watching a futbol match.

@Boski93 Jonathan Quick should be suing the Kings for lack of support. Arrrrrrrrgghhh #nhl #LAKings #scoresomegoalskings #quickseffortswastedagain

@LibrosOverHos God, it feels like this warmup skate has been going on for hours. I can't wait for the #LAKings game to actually start.

@ArthurKlages #LAKings couldn't score against Columbus! COLUMBUS! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@enmac502 sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #lakings

I feel ya, @enmac502!

Good times, Kings fans! I'm really glad Twitter is around for fans to collectively express their disgust, hatred, disappointment, and rage about their beloved sports team. It really makes it so easy to be passive-aggressive. If you ever find yourself about to blow a gasket because the team you love is shitting the bed, just turn to Twitter, search your team's hashtag and have a good hearty laugh at all the wonderfully clever tweets from your fellow fans.

12/17/11: LA Kings 2, Detroit Red Wings 8

What the fuck was that????

I don't know how  I managed to sit through the whole game.  Shit hit the fan 2 minutes into the game and I'm pretty sure every body knew this game was over for the LA Kings at that point.  It seems like every season there's at least one game where the Kings look terrible and they let in a ton of goals.  I can remember off the top of my head two games against the Buffalo Sabres in which the Kings got completely blown out.  Usually I just toss the game aside as an anomaly and move onto the next game.  But I cannot just ignore this game, especially since it happened during a real low period of this season.  So be prepared for a full on rant and armchair GM post:

The Kings didn't just look a step behind the Red Wings, they looked like they were a full shift behind them.  They looked like they were chasing the Wings all around the ice.   They looked like a minor league team playing against the future Stanley Cup champions.  It was embarrassing to watch.  Jack Johnson looked atrocious.  He was a -4 in the game and I don't know why Interim Coach John Stevens allowed him to play past the 1st period.  And how the hell did Andrei Loktionov get benched in favor of Trent Hunter?  Holy moly, the Kings were fucked before the puck even dropped.

I think it's pretty obvious at this point that the onus is on the players to turn things around.  I don't know what any coach can do at this point to get this team back on track.  If I were the coach, I would go fucking ballistic on these guys.  (If I have kids, then I should probably never coach youth sports....ever.)

The only positive I can take from this game is that the line of  Dustin Penner, Jarret Stoll, and Justin Williams played pretty well.  I distinctly remember one play where it looked like the Red Wings were going to have an odd-man rush, but Dustin Penner back-checked and successfully foiled a scoring opportunity.  Well done, Penner.  (But, where the fuck was that during the 2010 Playoffs???)

As in past seasons, I hope this game against the Red Wings is just one of those freak games where nothing goes right.  But I'm concerned it's a step towards the Western Conference basement.  My expectations for this team were so high when the season started.  Right now, I'm just hoping the Kings can clinch a playoff spot in April.

Brad Richardson Has Huge Balls and Guess Who's in the Finale of 'The Next Iron Chef: Super Chefs'

Normally I'm not too confident in Brad Richardson's scoring chances on breakaways. He's a decent enough player, incredibly hard working, but he doesn't have the best stats on breakaways. In Saturday's game against the Dallas Stars, Brad Richardson found himself with puck on stick, streaking up the ice on a 2-on-0 with leading LA Kings scorer, Anze Kopitar. You're Brad Richardson: What do you do? Make a perfect pass to Kopitar. You're rookie netminder Richard Bachman: What are you thinking? Richardson is going to pass it to Kopitar.

What does Richardson do? He fucking takes charge of the situation and, after having been benched for several games, shows off how huge his balls are, makes a pretty deke and gets the puck into the net. BALLLLERRRR!!!! Did anyone else watching at home jump into the air and celebrate like the Kings won the game upon watching Richardson act like a total bad ass?



Too bad that was the only thing LA Kings fans had to celebrate on Saturday......yikes, things are not looking good.  There's been a lot of chatter about whether Coach Terry Murray will get fired...and it could happen soon...I don't know what to think.  Do either  Dean Lombardi or Tim Leiweke really have the balls to fire someone so close to the holidays?  That's cold.  Ice Cold.

So......who watched the December 11th episode of 'The Next Iron Chef: Super Chefs'??????? All day leading up to the episode, Alton Brown was tweeting about how intense the show was going to be that night. In fact, I think Alton talked it up too much! My expectations were sky high. Check out some of his tweets from Sunday:

I enjoyed the episode, I was just expecting it to be far more intense than last week's episode, which I thought was ridiculously exciting.  For this challenge, the contestants were in The Hamptons and had to buy ingredients on a budget (I think $300) to cook a trio for the judges and 20 "guests".  All of the chefs lamented HOW DIFFICULT it is to be on a budget IN THE HAMPTONS.  (oh the HORROR!!)  These chefs are professionals and the best for a reason, so they made it work.

I think it's cruel to make contestants on any cooking show cook outdoors, especially for 'The Next Iron Chef' because, "Hello!!!" they're going to be cooking in Kitchen Stadium!!!  Anyway, it seriously didn't look like any of the contestants were going to finish and Chef Alex looked so worn out and stressed (and I think she said 'homicide' or 'homicidal' at least twice this episode).

It was really entertaining watching the episode and hear the contestants talk shit about each other and then see them respond to each other on Twitter.  If you get the East Coast feed, then I highly recommend following all the contestants and Alton Brown on Twitter and then read their reactions to the episode while watching the show.

Anyway, so one chef was immediately booted from the show and one chef was immediately selected for the Finals after the judges tasted the dishes.  Unfortunately, Chef Alex had the least tasty dish so she was let go.
And finally, Chef Zakarian had the best dish!  The judges had glowing praise for his dish.

Chef Faulkner and Chef Chiarello had to battle it out for a spot in the Finals.  The secret ingredients were crackers and wine.  There were three types of crackers and they only had to be used a serving vessel, but it was still bizarre.  Chef Chiarello had the better plating, but his molecular cooking technique backfired for one appetizer as the judges didn't care for its taste.  Chef Faulkner took a risky move by making an Indian flavored meatball, but it was voted the best tasting dish.  Even though her plating was boring, Judge Iron Chef Symon noted that you win Iron Chef on taste, not plating.  In the end, Chef Faulkner prevailed so she'll face Chef Zakarian in the Finals.  I'm curious to see what the secret ingredient will be!  I'm still on Team Zakarian so I hope he wins!

The LA Kings Can't Score So Let's Talk About 'The Amazing Race'

The LA Kings/Anaheim Ducks game on Tuesday was brutal to watch.  Here are the reasons why I was so tempted to change the channel on my beloved Kings:

1. For some reason the Anaheim Ducks start their home games at 7pm.  There's just something wrong with starting a game played on the West Coast at 7pm, especially in a county with notorious rush-hour traffic conditions. If you couldn't tell by now, I forgot the game started 30 minutes earlier than it should so I missed some of the first period, which made me an aaaaannnnnnngrrrrrryyy panda.
2. What is up with the attendance in Anaheim?  Sheesh, talk about fairweather fans.  Nothing's worse than watching a game on TV with hardly a peep from the crowd.  Oh wait, I bet being at the game was even worse.
3. The Kings played the Ducks and I hate everything about them.  Everything.  No wait, I actually like Bruce Boudreau, but he was doing his best Terry Murray impression so he wasn't very entertaining to watch.
4. Mike Richards has been out for two games, but it seems like an eternity.  We need that guy back, stat!
5. Why is it so damn difficult for the Kings to score???????????????????????????????????  Lately it has been so aggravating watching them on offense.  If the Kings continue only scoring 1 goal each game, then I may need to take a break from watching their games because I'm probably going to give myself an ulcer with the stress I endure yelling at the TV.
6. The Ducks got so freaking lucky with a couple goals, especially the game winner.  That fluky goal was gut wrenching to watch.  A day has passed and I'm still pissed about the game and that goal.

And on Thursday the Kings get to play the Minnesota Wild, who lead the NHL in points.  Fantastic.

So let's talk about The Amazing Race. Is anyone else super excited for the finale this Sunday?  

Note: Spoiler Alert ahead! 

I didn't think the bland couple (you know, the guy who sorta looks like Timothy Olyphantastic and his gal with the fake boobs) would make it this far.  I didn't even bother to learn their names because I thought they would mess up way early in the race.  But thanks to them, my two favorite teams made it to the final 3!  I'm always partial to white/asian couples so I really like Ernie and Cindy, even though she can be a bit controlling, spastic, and stressful (hmmm, I think I just described myself).  I also like Marcus and Amani because they seem like good people and they've fought their way to the finals.  However, I do think it's a bit annoying when Marcus tries to make a football metaphor out of ANY situation.  Yeah, dude, I get it.  You played football....in the NFL.  But I do like how his wife always has this "there he goes again/I'm tuning him out" look on her face whenever he does start comparing a task to football.

So the best part about last week's The Amazing Race episode was finally seeing Andy and Tommy fail!  They were kinda getting on my nerves the past several episodes because of their groovy, mellow mood about everything.  I also couldn't believe how lucky they got during the whole race when they won several legs by default because another team or two screwed up and had to redo something.  I was amazed at their ability to complete tasks with ease and it looked like nothing was going to stop them.  Maybe I was just glad to see they weren't perfect.  In fact, they messed up twice with the last mistake costing them the race.

I was absolutely stunned at how the other three teams managed to find the last pit stop.  In past seasons we've seen contestants ask for help at hotels, search for better flights on-line, ask passerbys for assistance, heck, even Boston Rob and Amber found a fan in Africa (I think) who practically spent the entire day with them showing them how to get from point A to point B.  Usually, the biggest obstacle for contestants are the taxi drivers who sometimes claim to know where they are going, but in fact have no freaking clue where a destination is located.  So in last week's episode, I thought it was so bizarre how the final 3 teams were all trying to determine the location of the pit stop at the same time and their taxi drivers were all communicating with each other.  The bland couple showed their taxi driver a sketch of the monument for the final pit stop and he knew exactly where to go.  The other two teams thought it was a different location, but their drivers ended up all talking to each other on cell phones and the first taxi driver convinced them where to go.  Cindy even said at one point that she had no idea where their driver was going, but that he seemed to know where to go.  They totally lucked out as the drivers got them to the correct location. 

In this episode the taxi drivers in Panama ended up being heroes for some teams.  But as we've seen in the past, sometimes the most difficult taxi trips have been those in the United States, where some drivers don't exactly speak the best English or understand what you're saying.  I'm really looking forward to the finale and I hope it's exciting.  Sometimes the final challenges are ridiculously difficult and other times they seem really easy, so I'm not quite sure what to expect. I suppose I'll be happy with any of the three teams winning this race because the bland couple finally proved (to me at least) they deserve to be racing for the prize.  

Penner Finally Scores a Goal and Guess Who Got Booted Off the Next Iron Chef

I wasn't really looking forward to watching the Kings/Canadians game because Mike Richards and Willie Mitchell were going to be out of the lineup with injuries. I tortured myself by watching the game on tape delay. Or perhaps it was a brilliant idea since the game kinda sucked. Here's a quick run down so we can move onto more important weekend news. The Kings looked messy; things just didn't flow very well at all for most of the game. Somehow the lone King to score was Dustin Penner. Justin Williams looked so shocked (and thrilled) that Penner scored and hopefully this means that damn monkey is off Penner's back so he can finally start scoring some goals. Bernier looked pretty good in the second half of the game, but you kinda have to help out your goalie by shooting the puck and getting it in the net in order to win games. I know, it's simple stuff. But despite a brief surge of intensity in the second period, the Kings looked lackluster in the third and could never overcome that afternoon lull that always seems to hit you around 2pm during the workday. Those damn afternoon games really get in the way of good Kings hockey.

I can't really bring myself to point out three positives from the game because there really weren't any. However, I did notice these three big negatives:

1. Davis Drewiske is not Willie Mitchell. (I know you're thinking, "Well, duh, idiot!!") I would elaborate on this statement, but I fear that I would go into a paragraph long criticism of Drewiske and I don't want to do that;
2. The Kings power play looked terrible;
3. Towards the end of the game the Kings pulled Bernier and tried to tie the game. Jarrett Stoll was slashed (I think by PK Subban) and it was pretty obvious because his stick was snapped in half by the slash. Sure, I was pissed that the refs missed the call, but not that pissed because, as I stated above, the Kings power play was pitiful and they had every opportunity during the game to take the lead. But I was embarrassed when Jarrett Stoll threw his hands up in the air, STOPPED playing, and looked around to yell at the refs for not making the call. When did Stoll become a professional soccer player? You don't stop playing just because you think there should have been a penalty. You play till the whistle is blown!!!!

Anyway, did you catch the recent episode of The Next Iron Chef? I'm total a Food Network whore and my husband used to make fun of me for watching all those cooking shows, but now he's really into some of them, especially The Next Iron Chef. I wasn't too into it because it's the All-Star edition so they have all these high profile chefs, some that are judges on other Food Network shows, and I wasn't convinced that these all-star contestants were really serious about being the Next Iron Chef. But boy was I wrong. This episode was fantastic!

First of all, some background on my opinions of these chefs. I NEVER liked Alex Guarnaschelli until I saw her competing on this show. As a judge on Chopped she also looks pissed-off, sounds cold as ice, and seems so unfriendly. But as a chef competing to be crowned one of the best, her frantic, spastic, "homicidal" personality is showing through and I've really started to like her. Similarly, I never cared much for Geoffrey Zakarian until I saw him compete on Chopped All-Stars. He is also a judge on Chopped and always comes off as a super sophisticated foodie know-it-all. But as a contestant you come to appreciate why he's such a tough critic because he's The Master. He's a perfectionist in the kitchen from how he gathers his ingredients in one fell swoop to how he maintains an unbelievable level of cleanliness at his work station to his library of cooking techniques. At times his fellow contestants even get star struck by the way he cooks.  And to top it all off, he's the most arrogant son of a bitch you'll ever meet (or see on TV) and that's what I love the most about him. He's never wrong. Ever.

(Food Network)

I'm rooting for this arrogant chef.

Spoiler Alert: I'm going to discuss the most recent episode in some detail and reveal who was kicked off.

In the most recent episode, the remaining 5 contestants had to participate in an auction.  The contestants were able to bid how much time it would take them to cook a dish using a certain ingredient and the lowest bidder won.  Anne Burrell looked like a genius by betting on sardines (or maybe they were anchovies...) and saying she could cook them in 50 minutes (or maybe it was 60 minutes, whatever) and no one else wanted to bid.  Chef Alex looked like she was fucked when she didn't win any of the previous 4 auctions and was left with a whole leg of lamb and had to cook it in 20 minutes.  

If there was any doubt whether these contestants really wanted to be the Next Iron Chef, this episode proved these chefs want it more than anything else.  Four contestants had to stand on the sidelines while Chef Anne was able to start cooking before them, get first pick at the ingredients, use whatever cooking appliance she wanted, and get a ton of prep work done before anyone else even started.  Chef Zakarian kept saying how "painful" it was to just stand there and watch Chef Anne cook and it got to the point where he stood face forward against a wall waiting until it was time for him to start cooking.  After the contestants miraculously finished their dishes within their allotted times, it was revealed that since Chef Anne won the previous challenge, she would judge her fellow contestants and pick one person to be in the bottom two.  OH SNAP!  After all the contestants were judged by the regular 3-person panel Alton Brown announced which chefs were the bottom two: Chef Anne chose Chef Zakarian for the bottom two and the 3-person panel chose  Chef Anne for the bottom two!!!! WHAT?!?!  The best part was when Alton Brown announced that Chef Anne had chosen Chef Zakarian, they were standing next to each other and Chef Anne looked so incredibly uncomfortable as she was fidgeting with her hands.  It was so awkward!!! and awesome!!

The two chefs went to battle using a secret ingredient and Master Zakarian prevailed.  Karma can really be a bitch.  This season is by far the best 'The Next Iron Chef' season ever!  Well done, Food Network.