Penner Finally Scores a Goal and Guess Who Got Booted Off the Next Iron Chef

I wasn't really looking forward to watching the Kings/Canadians game because Mike Richards and Willie Mitchell were going to be out of the lineup with injuries. I tortured myself by watching the game on tape delay. Or perhaps it was a brilliant idea since the game kinda sucked. Here's a quick run down so we can move onto more important weekend news. The Kings looked messy; things just didn't flow very well at all for most of the game. Somehow the lone King to score was Dustin Penner. Justin Williams looked so shocked (and thrilled) that Penner scored and hopefully this means that damn monkey is off Penner's back so he can finally start scoring some goals. Bernier looked pretty good in the second half of the game, but you kinda have to help out your goalie by shooting the puck and getting it in the net in order to win games. I know, it's simple stuff. But despite a brief surge of intensity in the second period, the Kings looked lackluster in the third and could never overcome that afternoon lull that always seems to hit you around 2pm during the workday. Those damn afternoon games really get in the way of good Kings hockey.

I can't really bring myself to point out three positives from the game because there really weren't any. However, I did notice these three big negatives:

1. Davis Drewiske is not Willie Mitchell. (I know you're thinking, "Well, duh, idiot!!") I would elaborate on this statement, but I fear that I would go into a paragraph long criticism of Drewiske and I don't want to do that;
2. The Kings power play looked terrible;
3. Towards the end of the game the Kings pulled Bernier and tried to tie the game. Jarrett Stoll was slashed (I think by PK Subban) and it was pretty obvious because his stick was snapped in half by the slash. Sure, I was pissed that the refs missed the call, but not that pissed because, as I stated above, the Kings power play was pitiful and they had every opportunity during the game to take the lead. But I was embarrassed when Jarrett Stoll threw his hands up in the air, STOPPED playing, and looked around to yell at the refs for not making the call. When did Stoll become a professional soccer player? You don't stop playing just because you think there should have been a penalty. You play till the whistle is blown!!!!

Anyway, did you catch the recent episode of The Next Iron Chef? I'm total a Food Network whore and my husband used to make fun of me for watching all those cooking shows, but now he's really into some of them, especially The Next Iron Chef. I wasn't too into it because it's the All-Star edition so they have all these high profile chefs, some that are judges on other Food Network shows, and I wasn't convinced that these all-star contestants were really serious about being the Next Iron Chef. But boy was I wrong. This episode was fantastic!

First of all, some background on my opinions of these chefs. I NEVER liked Alex Guarnaschelli until I saw her competing on this show. As a judge on Chopped she also looks pissed-off, sounds cold as ice, and seems so unfriendly. But as a chef competing to be crowned one of the best, her frantic, spastic, "homicidal" personality is showing through and I've really started to like her. Similarly, I never cared much for Geoffrey Zakarian until I saw him compete on Chopped All-Stars. He is also a judge on Chopped and always comes off as a super sophisticated foodie know-it-all. But as a contestant you come to appreciate why he's such a tough critic because he's The Master. He's a perfectionist in the kitchen from how he gathers his ingredients in one fell swoop to how he maintains an unbelievable level of cleanliness at his work station to his library of cooking techniques. At times his fellow contestants even get star struck by the way he cooks.  And to top it all off, he's the most arrogant son of a bitch you'll ever meet (or see on TV) and that's what I love the most about him. He's never wrong. Ever.

(Food Network)

I'm rooting for this arrogant chef.

Spoiler Alert: I'm going to discuss the most recent episode in some detail and reveal who was kicked off.

In the most recent episode, the remaining 5 contestants had to participate in an auction.  The contestants were able to bid how much time it would take them to cook a dish using a certain ingredient and the lowest bidder won.  Anne Burrell looked like a genius by betting on sardines (or maybe they were anchovies...) and saying she could cook them in 50 minutes (or maybe it was 60 minutes, whatever) and no one else wanted to bid.  Chef Alex looked like she was fucked when she didn't win any of the previous 4 auctions and was left with a whole leg of lamb and had to cook it in 20 minutes.  

If there was any doubt whether these contestants really wanted to be the Next Iron Chef, this episode proved these chefs want it more than anything else.  Four contestants had to stand on the sidelines while Chef Anne was able to start cooking before them, get first pick at the ingredients, use whatever cooking appliance she wanted, and get a ton of prep work done before anyone else even started.  Chef Zakarian kept saying how "painful" it was to just stand there and watch Chef Anne cook and it got to the point where he stood face forward against a wall waiting until it was time for him to start cooking.  After the contestants miraculously finished their dishes within their allotted times, it was revealed that since Chef Anne won the previous challenge, she would judge her fellow contestants and pick one person to be in the bottom two.  OH SNAP!  After all the contestants were judged by the regular 3-person panel Alton Brown announced which chefs were the bottom two: Chef Anne chose Chef Zakarian for the bottom two and the 3-person panel chose  Chef Anne for the bottom two!!!! WHAT?!?!  The best part was when Alton Brown announced that Chef Anne had chosen Chef Zakarian, they were standing next to each other and Chef Anne looked so incredibly uncomfortable as she was fidgeting with her hands.  It was so awkward!!! and awesome!!

The two chefs went to battle using a secret ingredient and Master Zakarian prevailed.  Karma can really be a bitch.  This season is by far the best 'The Next Iron Chef' season ever!  Well done, Food Network.

Chill the F**K out Kings Fans

Seriously....chill out Kings fans.

So the LA Kings are on a losing streak. BFD. It happens. It doesn't mean the coach needs to get axed. It means the players need to get their shit together. This is not a poorly coached team. I haven't watched these games and thought for a second that the guys don't care anymore or that they're not listening to the coach or that a different coach would make a world of difference.

There have been a couple games where the Kings looked slow and out of sorts. But that shit happens. I remember playing games where for some reason it felt like my legs were made of concrete or games where nothing any of us said (coach included and he could yell at us till the sun went down) could get us out of the shitty funk we were in or games where yeah, there was a lucky or bounce or two. So yes, the Kings have had a bad game or two where the bounces didn't go their way and another couple games where they just purely looked like dog poop during this losing streak. It's understandable.  That shit happens.  Losing streaks happen.

You know what's been a problem? Taking stupid penalties. The Kings could have (should have) won the game against Pittsburgh, but they pretty much only could be competitive for two periods because they were killing penalties for almost half of the other period. And when they had the momentum and looked like they were going to finish off the Penguins, what happened? A Kings player committed another unnecessary penalty. And in the following game the Kings were very competitive in the first period against the San Jose Sharks but that momentum screeched to a halt during a rash of penalties in the second period and then shit hit the fan after that.

I was pissed after the game against the Penguins because of how terrible half the forwards played and because I felt like the Kings should have won that game. But after the game against San Jose, all I could feel was sadness. Because this team is so much better than the outcomes they're getting. I firmly believe it's just a matter of time (a couple more games at most hopefully) before things turn around. People need to stop freaking out and placing blame where it doesn't belong.

This season is only 13 games old. There's plenty of hockey left. Better to have a losing streak early in the season than later. Check out the Western Conference standings and ask yourself if you thought for a second that it would like this:

Vancouver, Detroit, Calgary, and Anaheim are all behind the Kings. Anaheim, who has Getzlaf, Perry, and Selanne, have scored 3 fewer goals than the Kings. Dallas is leading the West? GTFO. They won't be there come April. Edmonton leading the Northwest? No effing way that's gonna hold. Phoenix in the top 8? Puh-lease, bitches. You know who should fire their coach? Columbus. Because a 2-11-1 record is atrocious. A 6-5-3 record? It's middle of the road. It's fine for now while the players figure their shit out. Most of them are adults, most of them have been in the playoffs, and most of them have tasted bitter defeat and disappointment. I would be shocked if any of them would place the blame of this current losing streak on Terry Murray.  I fully expect Dustin Brown, Anze Kopitar, or Justin Williams to hold a players only meeting within the next week, if they haven't done so already, and sort shit out.  There are a lot of talented goal scorers on this Kings team and I think eventually things will get better. Murray has been tweaking the lines when things haven't worked out.  The priority is getting Penner on the scoresheet and he's rightly moving him around trying to find with whom he works best while giving him the best opportunity to be an offensive threat.

I don't think a coaching change at this point of the season is necessary.  When January rolls around and if the Kings are a sub-500 team....then it would be appropriate to expect Lombardi to make changes, either a coaching change or player trade.  But for now, simmer down folks.

Can the Kings Build Off the Momentum from Saturday's Game?

The LA Kings played one of their best games of the season on Saturday against the Pittsburgh Penguins despite losing in the shootout.  Even though it wasn't the most offensively explosive game or the most disciplined game, since the Kings played against arguably one of the best teams in the league (even though the Pens are without the best player in the NHL), I'm going to chalk this up to the best showing of the season so far.

First let's talk about the negatives so I can end on a positive note.  The craziest thing about how great the game was is that it looked like only two Kings forward lines showed up to play on Saturday.  I promised myself before the season started that I wouldn't be too critical of individual players, but I have to break that promise for this post because I was down right appalled at the play of the bottom two lines, especially the third line.   For the past several weeks I've tried to look at all the positives of a certain Kings player and point out every good thing he has done in hopes that they were baby steps towards getting the monkey off his back.  But holy hell, he looked like shit on Saturday.  He looked slow.  He was making passes behind players.  And did anyone else think he just looked lost?  #17 looked even worse, but he's not being handed a boatload of criticism because no one expects him to be a 30-goal scorer. I still don't know why the Kings signed him over the off-season.  He took two completely unnecessary penalties and got fined for one of them; I was actually hoping he would have an appointment with Principal Shanahan so Terry Murray would be forced to bench him for a couple games.  This line was on the ice for Pittsburgh's tying goal in the third period and was completely outplayed during that shift.

I was a little surprised that Trevor Lewis was benched in favor of Kevin Westgarth.  Maybe Murray didn't get the memo that Matt Cooke has been a saint this season, but someone must have told him early in the game as is evident by Westgarth's ice time.  I suppose I can't be that mad at the 4th line when none of the guys played more than 10 minutes, but I can be upset that Clifford and Richardson didn't play well enough when they were on the ice to garner more shifts.

I think my anger is all out so I can move onto the positives of this game.

The Kings power play did an amazing job in the first period and they came so close to killing off all the penalties.  Someone on Twitter said the Penguins power play didn't score a goal so much as the odds finally kicked in.  (I can't remember who tweeted it...) The Kings easily could have been down 3 goals in the first period and were lucky to only be down by 1.

Mike Richards once again looked like a badass....if only he can score on a penalty shot!  The Brown-Richards-Parse line looked really good again.  But no line compared to the Gagne-Kopitar-Williams line.  That line looked phenomenal! Just check out the passing among these guys:

It looked like Murray was only using the top two lines in Saturday's game, occasionally throwing in the third line, and I was amazed at how much energy the Kings forwards had. However, the Kings have back to back games this week, first up San Jose, then Nashville, so there is no way the Kings will be able to heavily rely on only two lines and have a chance at winning both games.  I think Bernier should get another look in one of these games and, based on the lines from Sunday's practice, Penner might get another chance on the second line.

The game against the Penguins was low scoring, but it was the most exciting game the Kings have played since the home opener when they ripped the Blues a new one.  There were many moments during the third period and overtime that I could barely breathe because either the Kings or Penguins were so close to scoring.  That's the type of hockey I like to watch and even though the Kings lost, and despite the negatives I mentioned above, the top guys played really well and it blows my mind to think what this team is capable of accomplishing.  Hopefully the Kings can keep it up and get all four lines rolling.

Kings Gameday: I Can Haz Win?

When the NHL Schedule was released and I saw the Pittsburgh Penguins would be coming to LA, I made a mental note to keep tonight open in case Sidney Crosby would be concussion-free and playing in LA.  Crosby has played at Staples Center at least once, maybe twice or thrice, but for some reason I never went to those games.  I really, really want to see him play in person and I was really, really hoping he would be healthy by early November.  Sure, seeing Malkin play in person is also worth the price of admission, but to me it's just not quite the same as seeing Crosby play in person.  Go ahead and hate all you want (that's what the comments are for), but I think Crosby is a phenomenal hockey player and I would be upset with myself if I passed up every opportunity to watch him play against my Kings at Staples Center.  I'm sad he's not playing tonight and because he's still out of the lineup, I will not be going to tonight's game.  But I will be watching at home, which means I'll be able to rewind and watch all of Quick's great saves and replay every freaking time the LA Kings go off-sides.

Did anyone else notice how many times the Kings were offsides in Thursday's game against the Oilers?  And they weren't even close, they were so offsides you could see it happening as soon as they crossed the red line.  Once again the Kings were just off.  They looked lazy.   Their play was lackadaisical.  The only block of time they looked like they had some fight in them was the first half of the third period. But once Moreau took that stupid penalty, the Oilers took back the momentum and there was no hope left for the Kings. 

Dustin Penner has been receiving so much criticism in the past week.  Here are a just a few tweets I came across:

Twitter is a cruel world

Everyone is jumping on the 'Criticize Dustin Penner' bandwagon, but he's been playing better and better with each game.  And the Kings aren't losing because Penner is playing poorly or not up to everyone's expectations, they're losing because lately all the other forwards can't seem to get it together.

Tonight will be a tough game for the Kings because the Penguins have been playing very well this season even without Crosby. Remember last season when the Kings lost to the Penguins even though they didn't have Crosby AND Malkin?  Yeah, that was a bitch.  

Sometimes the Kings make me so sad.  I guess I need to lower my expectations.  Before I sign off, here are a couple things I was thinking about last night:

1. Dustin Brown is a dork.  He seems like the nicest guy in the world and is probably the most amazing father and husband, but I can't help but think he's a total dork.  A couple years ago my husband and I were driving around town and we saw a father and son riding bikes together.  It looked cute, but the dad had a fanny pack on or something lame and my husband commented that no matter how badass a guy may be, as soon as he becomes a father, he immediately becomes a dork.  Hockey players are no exception.  Case in point, last night Dustin Brown tweeted this:

"I love fruit"????  What?  The only thing I could think of was: He received an edible arrangement.  Even if it wasn't a bouquet of cut fruit, what could possibly be super cool and awesome AND have something to do with fruit?  I'm not sure we'll ever know because he never let his followers know what he received.

2.  Alec Martinez kinda looks like Ralph Macchio.  On Friday's PTI they were talking about Ralph Macchio and showed some photos of him and I couldn't help but think he resembled a certain LA Kings defenseman.  What do you think? Not an exact match, but similar, right?

Alec Martinez, The Karate Kid

Game Prediction:  Kings lose, but they don't embarrass themselves.