Sunday, December 4, 2011

Penner Finally Scores a Goal and Guess Who Got Booted Off the Next Iron Chef

I wasn't really looking forward to watching the Kings/Canadians game because Mike Richards and Willie Mitchell were going to be out of the lineup with injuries. I tortured myself by watching the game on tape delay. Or perhaps it was a brilliant idea since the game kinda sucked. Here's a quick run down so we can move onto more important weekend news. The Kings looked messy; things just didn't flow very well at all for most of the game. Somehow the lone King to score was Dustin Penner. Justin Williams looked so shocked (and thrilled) that Penner scored and hopefully this means that damn monkey is off Penner's back so he can finally start scoring some goals. Bernier looked pretty good in the second half of the game, but you kinda have to help out your goalie by shooting the puck and getting it in the net in order to win games. I know, it's simple stuff. But despite a brief surge of intensity in the second period, the Kings looked lackluster in the third and could never overcome that afternoon lull that always seems to hit you around 2pm during the workday. Those damn afternoon games really get in the way of good Kings hockey.

I can't really bring myself to point out three positives from the game because there really weren't any. However, I did notice these three big negatives:
  1. Davis Drewiske is not Willie Mitchell. (I know you're thinking, "Well, duh, idiot!!") I would elaborate on this statement, but I fear that I would go into a paragraph long criticism of Drewiske and I don't want to do that;
  2. The Kings power play looked terrible;
  3. Towards the end of the game the Kings pulled Bernier and tried to tie the game. Jarrett Stoll was slashed (I think by PK Subban) and it was pretty obvious because his stick was snapped in half by the slash. Sure, I was pissed that the refs missed the call, but not that pissed because, as I stated above, the Kings power play was pitiful and they had every opportunity during the game to take the lead. But I was embarrassed when Jarrett Stoll threw his hands up in the air, STOPPED playing, and looked around to yell at the refs for not making the call. When did Stoll become a professional soccer player? You don't stop playing just because you think there should have been a penalty. You play till the whistle is blown!!!!

Anyway, did you catch the recent episode of The Next Iron Chef? I'm total a Food Network whore and my husband used to make fun of me for watching all those cooking shows, but now he's really into some of them, especially The Next Iron Chef. I wasn't too into it because it's the All-Star edition so they have all these high profile chefs, some that are judges on other Food Network shows, and I wasn't convinced that these all-star contestants were really serious about being the Next Iron Chef. But boy was I wrong. This episode was fantastic!

First of all, some background on my opinions of these chefs. I NEVER liked Alex Guarnaschelli until I saw her competing on this show. As a judge on Chopped she also looks pissed-off, sounds cold as ice, and seems so unfriendly. But as a chef competing to be crowned one of the best, her frantic, spastic, "homicidal" personality is showing through and I've really started to like her. Similarly, I never cared much for Geoffrey Zakarian until I saw him compete on Chopped All-Stars. He is also a judge on Chopped and always comes off as a super sophisticated foodie know-it-all. But as a contestant you come to appreciate why he's such a tough critic because he's The Master. He's a perfectionist in the kitchen from how he gathers his ingredients in one fell swoop to how he maintains an unbelievable level of cleanliness at his work station to his library of cooking techniques. At times his fellow contestants even get star struck by the way he cooks.  And to top it all off, he's the most arrogant son of a bitch you'll ever meet (or see on TV) and that's what I love the most about him. He's never wrong. Ever.

(Food Network)
I'm rooting for this arrogant chef.

Spoiler Alert: I'm going to discuss the most recent episode in some detail and reveal who was kicked off.

In the most recent episode, the remaining 5 contestants had to participate in an auction.  The contestants were able to bid how much time it would take them to cook a dish using a certain ingredient and the lowest bidder won.  Anne Burrell looked like a genius by betting on sardines (or maybe they were anchovies...) and saying she could cook them in 50 minutes (or maybe it was 60 minutes, whatever) and no one else wanted to bid.  Chef Alex looked like she was fucked when she didn't win any of the previous 4 auctions and was left with a whole leg of lamb and had to cook it in 20 minutes.  

If there was any doubt whether these contestants really wanted to be the Next Iron Chef, this episode proved these chefs want it more than anything else.  Four contestants had to stand on the sidelines while Chef Anne was able to start cooking before them, get first pick at the ingredients, use whatever cooking appliance she wanted, and get a ton of prep work done before anyone else even started.  Chef Zakarian kept saying how "painful" it was to just stand there and watch Chef Anne cook and it got to the point where he stood face forward against a wall waiting until it was time for him to start cooking.  After the contestants miraculously finished their dishes within their allotted times, it was revealed that since Chef Anne won the previous challenge, she would judge her fellow contestants and pick one person to be in the bottom two.  OH SNAP!  After all the contestants were judged by the regular 3-person panel Alton Brown announced which chefs were the bottom two: Chef Anne chose Chef Zakarian for the bottom two and the 3-person panel chose  Chef Anne for the bottom two!!!! WHAT?!?!  The best part was when Alton Brown announced that Chef Anne had chosen Chef Zakarian, they were standing next to each other and Chef Anne looked so incredibly uncomfortable as she was fidgeting with her hands.  It was so awkward!!! and awesome!!

The two chefs went to battle using a secret ingredient and Master Zakarian prevailed.  Karma can really be a bitch.  This season is by far the best 'The Next Iron Chef' season ever!  Well done, Food Network.

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